Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Well, ow. Frikkidy, ow, ow. 

Because Nick and I are kinky, we decided to ear candle each other last night.

Oh yeah, baby. Your words are so sweet and smoky they set my ears on fire.

The tinfoil has a hole in it through which the candle (really a waxed gauze fabric conically rolled tube) bottom goes, to protect the person in case of ash droppings.

Regular readers know I'm a gross little person. The allure of ear candles was simple and anecdotal: "When you're done you open it up and see all this stuff and think, 'That came out of my ear?!'"

Well, maybe if you don't pay any attention to physics you think that.

All the ick dripped from the top down, nothing was being pulled up and out. What you see is just melted wax and ash from the burning of the tube.

Here's Nick's candle:

When we tried it on me, we ended up extinguishing it well before the instructions said to, because the heat and pain was freaking me out. My ear still hurts.
Kind of serves me right: "Here, stick this thing in your ear and set it on fire."

"Okay, sure."

"Ow. Ow!"

To test our theory that ear candling is complete bullshit, despite our confidence that we had followed all instructions to the letter, we tested the other pair by holding the "ear" end sealed, recreating the angle, and torching the f*ckers.

Surprise, surprise, the end result of the simulated ear candles was the same as the ones which had actually been in the ear. Ear candles don't pull any fun icky stuff out of your ear, but they can cause extreme pain.

Thus endeth my public service announcement: Don't stick anything in your ears and set it on fire, kids.


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