Thursday, December 30, 2004

Random Access Mammaries 

G-ddamn Bumptious for this sardonic ribbon backlash link. G-ddamn my Paypal balance for having my EXACT checkout amount available. Because it's free, right, if it never showed up in a personal bank account balance in the first place?

I have divided for sleeves in the sweater for a weasel--'scuse me, a teacup poodle.

Dig this crappy scan, daddy-o:

I really shouldn't make fun of the future recipient. Despite the fact that she does actually look quite monkey-like, there is no record existing of her having flung sh!t upon the walls. A personal mystery I am resigned to no answer for.

A cone of sh!t a centimeter and a half long doesn't just appear upon a wall for no reason. Anyway, we are moving on from this. I'm just taking it as a sign and moving on. Doesn't mean I won't ponder it from time to time...a sign of what, exactly? But I'm moving on, really.

A lot is happening right now at work.
"Greg" had surgery to remove his dime-sized kidney stones (and they took his balls and several teeth at the same time, what a deal!) and is actually wagging his tail and moving around, instead of freezing in a squat for ten minutes desperately seeking relief from the feeling of urgency and cramping.

We've had a bounceback who bounced almost immediately back into another home (gorgeous girl!) and three dogs fresh off the track. I may not have had to clean any dog's anus lately, (although apparently attention was needed at home, but never mind, I'm moving on) but I can now list experience with cleaning ticks from a scrotum on my résumé.

When you write that sentence you have to have the proper accents over the "e"s don'tcha know.

Tomorrow is the last day of the year, and I just can't believe this "linear passage of time" cr@p, as this year has just flown by too fast.

Aliens abducted my sense of time and put a cone of fecal matter on my walls! A-ha! An answer at last.

No, really, I'm moving on, and crawling back into bed.


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