spaazlicious

Me: "You asshole!!!"

Nick: [reading a book on the bed] "What?"

Me: [waving a flip-flop freshly snatched from Jasper's jaws] "Look what he did!"




Nick: "Oh... Jasper!"

Me: "And you must have just let him!"

Nick: "Well, I knew he had something he was playing with, I didn't know it was your shoe."

Me: "Well...actually... I guess a foam flip-flop probably didn't make that much noise being destroyed."

[At this point I waggle the flip-flop in a vaguely threatening manner, and Jasper looks concerned and perhaps a bit contrite.]

Me: "These flip-flops cost twenty bucks!"

[Jasper and Nick gaze at me in utter disbelief that foam and webbing could cost twenty bucks and that anyone would be daft enough to pay it. Nick is the only one who says anything though.]

Nick: "Twenty bucks!?"

Me [abashed]: "Well, yeah, it's good foam. Look, I've had them a year and it's hardly compressed at all!"

[I wave the chewed flip-flop again and Jasper joins Nick on the bed in a show of male solidarity when faced with an irritated woman.
They both look at me like they are waiting for an apology.
I sigh and go get the camera, and Jasper laughs: the clear winner.]