Sunday, August 06, 2006

Rules of Thumb 

If a dog has a choice between linoleum and carpet to have an "accident" upon, they will choose carpet.

If one of the reasons you fell in love with your husband was his keen sense of observation and quick thinking, he will blearily step in the poo on the carpet and leave Family Circus style tracks EVERYWHERE before he leaves for work in the morning. And when you call him to rip him a new one, the first thing out of his mouth will be, "I think I stepped in poop in the yard last night--there's poop in my car!" Like, eeeeeeew! The smelly tragedy of poop in the car! Honey, hold me!

If you call a foster dog "boring" they will poop in your house.
(accidents happen--I should have got up and taken her down to the yard [we had taken everyone down at midnight as well] and to be honest, the poop would have been really easily picked up if it hadn't been for Mr. Oblivious Handsome Pantz grinding it into the carpet, it was one of those lovely poos that give you confidence in your dog's diet and health otherwise)

If you get all outraged about knitwear, life will give you something to bitch about. (still, relatively minor, compared to real troubles in the world but I'm hoping this is my ration for the day).


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